One season of my life.♥

Thailand. the land of smiles. this is where i grew up and spend most of the time in my life here. Now i am in a time for waiting a Visa to go to be An Aupair in Denmark, what the Au pair is??i will tell you later about my Aupair meaning..

as i lay in bed this afternoon spent my holidays alone at home, i listened to the rain on the roof, that sounded an awful lot like brewing coffee, and wished that it was still saturday. not just because saturday is the only day i can sleep in, but because saturday was one of those days that i just had to stop and be thankful for my city life and the all people that are a part of it! I have no idea how long i will be in my home town but actually i knew that it not too long before i have to move to live in the new city life and meet the new peoples the place that i will start my new opportunities and the place that i will be a part of it.

but of course not everyday can be a great day for me even i live in my kingdom or the other place. and not everyday can be crappy. i still have lots of thing to try and figured out. there are still times when i feel like i haven't quite found my way. but thankfully those times are becoming . its been a full year of finding myself and finding my way in this new season of life. trying not to get mixed up in the opinions and preferences of those around me. reminding myself that the Lord is sovereign over me no matter where i am (Thailand, Denmark) or what i'm doing. city life is definitely growing on me and i'm enjoying the challenges and joys that it brings my way.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

i've been listening to this song over and over on my way to work or wherever i go each morning recently. it plays through my tiny mp3 , i wonder "who am i and what i am doing with my life?"

the past couple of weeks as things have changed a lot in my mind i have been confused what i believe in and which way i have to choose until now i still not sure but one thing as i know when i listen to this song it is Jesus came to die for my sin . i can't figure out why i feel so confused often but i still keep praying...

"what i want to be when i grow up"(i think now i am growing up enough) if i don't try things out now and give it my all but on my way Jesus will walk beside me and tell me the right way where should i go..right?

for some reason ive just been struck by the fact that yeah if i don't try to go live in oversea i won't have the opportunity to look silly... but then again... i won't have the opportunity to grow either. if i don't try to be a teacher how do i know i will be good of it or not... but i also won't know how to be a good teacher i own! if i didn't jump into school and start teaching with both feet i certainly would avoid the pain of dealing with defiant children or hard to navigate curriculum but then i would miss out on moments when the kids cling to my legs and say "i love you Kru. Jeab" and i certainly wouldn't develop as a professional.
The same is i will go to be an aupair in Denmark if i am not keep walking on my both feet to try with a new experience that waiting for me out there how do i know that the great thing that this whole world giving to me..i believe this is just a season of my life that won't last forever. and when i look back on it someday i'll remember that while i didn't get it on the first try... the process definitely made me into the person that i am and want to be...

keep thinking

Today is just another day of mind that i still be in school for teaching my 2 lovely students, Kinda busy all day with teach and do some more lesson plans for next week. After lunch i just sit in my class room and think what gonna happen with me tomorrow, next week, next mont, I keep thinking i want to have some more time in a day that i can do other things that i wanna do and try to do.

So I keep thinking of the ways to spend my time more meaningfully. Thoughts like: perhaps I should work more (but I'm already very busy with teaching about 40 hours or so a week but not includ take more work back to do at home) :perhaps I should exercise more (I think i should do somemore excercise not just 1 dancing class 1 day a week ); or perhaps I should spend more time helping (but I already help many peoples while i have free time!); or perhaps I should start reading and writing again (now this I can do, only if I stop being so lazy and procrastinating).
I also thinking: what do other people do to spend their time? Work? Party? Shopping ? Watch movies? Play games? But don't those things get meaningless after a while? I think sometime peoples will get bored in the things that they keep doing over and over, right? but how did they figure out about it?

I am pretty tired to think what job that match on me and that what i really want to do it, i have been trying to do manything but i still feel likes its not the right one for me yet, in the begining i feel excited but after that not long i feel bored or i am being lazy?well i still have no idea about try to spend my time more meaningfully...

Looking Forward to September

For the reason I will go to Denmark , the hurting is going to work , travel and visit the kids who got adopted from Connie house. They are what I really want to do one time in my life at this point, not all these wonderful thing mentioned above. Life really just does not turn out how I expect. For 18 months this country will teach me so much and give me lots of new opportunities .I know that I will not be the same for having known new peoples and I believe that my future will be different because of the effect will happen in my life.

Looking Forward to September

As I look to the future most things are blurry. There are very few things I can say with certainty about the coming. One is this September I will begin to be An Aupair live and work in Denmark. I will Take care of 10 moths old boy name is Pelle. I am definitely nervous about this opportunity as I know absolutely nothing about live with Another peoples that call Host Family. However, I am thankful for the chance to be with kid again, for the chance to teach and love them. The second thing I can say with certainty is that the Lord is with me and that because I know He has a great plan for me I will step into the new life and great Opportunities with joy and trust.

I am also thankful for My Mom,Richard and Connie family My friends ,My Pets and My Dreams. I am so excited for several new friendships (with other foreigners) Thanks for always believing in me and believing that anything was possible. Thanks for never telling me that I was silly or that I couldn't do any of the crazy ideas I've had over the years. I am who I am because of you guys. I love you all.For Richard and Connie Thank you that you spend time with me ,take me to church, take me to eat, help me many things when i ask for help,Pray for me and loving me.I love you.

So, trying to think of a fitting goodbye Chiang Mai Thailand My home sweet home and welcome New life in Denmark message is a little bit difficult. My human/selfish tendency would be to say I hope things work out better then last few years. However, that would be totally inappropriate. Right now I don't want to downplay that but really just thank the Lord for all He did in last few years it pretty hard but i know God love me and he already plan to give me a great life.