My Choice to Believe

I would like this blog to be interesting of the daily for someone, and give someone the ability to see just a little of what it is like to be here. Doing small things like updating my blog are difficult to do. sometime i have been off writing for awhile because so much has happened that I don't know where to start and i have been so busy in my life. This is my honest effort to start writing again, even if it is not much but hopefully I will get better to update my blog.

I am so blesses and praise the Lord, Thank you Jesus that you keep me away from the flood in the south of Thailand where i have been thinking to live there for 3 months. For me "sometimes what Jesus does is so big and hard to believe" sometime i get confused and not sure about myself and confused of what i believe in. 3 weeks ago i was cancel to be a nanny in Kho Samui (south of Thailand) the family i was talk about them in the last post. Both of us are canceled because we both are was not agree with the job responsible and our purpose not go in the same way as we wish. i though it might be a good opportunity for me to try to live in another place but in the end its not good enough. Everything have a reason to be and will be.

Living without children to call me a teacher for awhile already and start to be a nanny for Swedish Family. Actually live and work in my Kingdom is not too bad. I am being really like the kids here who i look after them during the week.

It's getting hard for me to think to say goodbye them if one day i get a Visa to go to live in Sweden. Everything was plan before i came to be with them and now all document papers are ready for me to go to apply for a Visa in Bangkok in the end of this month. Both are very good choice and hard for me to choose. Definitely i have to choose to go apply a Visa to Sweden. I don't want to say this was a choice and i chooses this way not because other way are not good. as i said before everything was plan before i met them. Alas i don't want to feel like this.

My Jesus my savior, I trust in you. the way that i am will walk i will go because that way is from you. i will walk to follow your footprint. Everyone have your own Choice to believe. i also have my own choice to believe and i want to share to everyone if you would like to read and listen. I have done lots of heartfelt praying since last year. God is faithful, strong and mighty. Not always, or even usually, in the way I want Him to be but i still keep hoping and believe in Him. Thank you to spending your time to read. Love ya'll.

" Everything possible if you just Believe "

Cause life's not a bed of roses..

My poor blog was starting to feel very upset and dissapointed. I really haven't had too much time for writing other than teaching, finding a new job and try to figure out to sort the problem in my life. Between school, tutor and my family - well, I'm usually pretty tired. I usually write to process thoughts and emotions that I am dealing with and that is certainly the case today.

I have a lot going on in my life. I am getting ready for another move even don't know exactly what going on me tomorrow.Today i got email from one of my freind she wrote to me that made me pretty upset about what eles she misunderstood. she though i am angered at her "yes" i was but from now i didn't have that feeling to be angry to anyone anymore, I am tired with my work alot. I only have free time on the week day after 7 pm also saturday and sunday but don't you think i want to get rest?

Anything she wrote on the email, i will think i never get it, i will ignored it because i don't want to argue and get involve after that. of course i do cares but i don't want to dragging out the problem more then this. Dear my friends i just want you to know, Sometimes in life,we should learn to stop bothering so much.I am sorry to made you think like that about me, but please understand sometime we all will want to spend time alone..

In time to come, we'll all realize that things aren't always what it seems.

And as for disappointment, its not entirely true that if you expect more than you should,you'll fall right into deep disappointment. Sadly, sometimes even if you don't expect anything,you're still able to fall right into it.

Maybe I don't deserve to be commenting on things like these. But right now,I just feel so numb. I'm numb of all things,I'm constantly getting numbed by almost everything in my everyday life.

I'm at school for the last week being a teacher. With a million thoughts in mind, Speding time to think and try to recover my feeling from many people. I leave the school for a reason and i pray that Jesus will guide me in the right way as he want me to be and do.

So, This blog post everyone must know. I didn't ask you to forgive me in anything but whatever been happened before or just now i forgive and try to forget to everyone although in the past they're did anything right or wrong to me. I will leave all that feeling behind me, stay away from those stuffs . I do need to stop care about my past. I have to keep going and do more care about TODAY. Please stop asking me again over and over that i still angry, sad or have bad feeling with ya'll ..I am finished.

We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete.

I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven" Luke 6:37

Good luck with that future Jeab..

Thank you to spending your time to read my post. Love you all,