Time for an update..

Every day is a new beginning. Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be. I already here in Sweden almost 5 months. Seemed like don't have manythings happened since my last post, well i will try to remember most of what happened lately. This morning i went Christmas shopping. I got almost everything i needed to get, so it went really good but i have to do some more later. I also got a new Mahalo Ukulele as a Christmas gift from my good friend. I am not sure i will get anymore Christmas present haha i am not usual to get gift often but i still have hope to get.

3 more days until Christmas everyone here are being happy and prepare gift to give and receive.most of the house they're decorated with star light. There look pretty nice and made me happy, different then where i came from not much but still look different for me. In town so beautiful with lights on the road, tree, the mall.

My first snow its was really beautiful and i always excited everytime when snowing. its seem like its my first time to see. I love Snow here in Sweden ! No chance to create my own snowman yet. i want to bring my mom here to see what i have seen in last 4 months, i want her to feel my happiness when i am here. I know exactly everyday it's worth for me to living here even not happy everyday. just one thing my American family in Thailand have told me, i have to be PATIENT.

An Aupair living with Another family its not easy everyone know that. you can not expect things too much, they might not invite you to join their parties, they might not invite you to join dinner after you said no to join dinner with them before,( you might have personal reason why you said No) they might not invite you to go join their vacations and they might not invite you to join many activities with them but one thing that you should know if you get into trouble they will be there for you and help you as much as they can. I didn't mean every family will be the same as i said don't be afraid. getting a chance to come here and living with another family will fulfill your life and gain more experiences to live in another country. when you look back you will never regret about it.

Here i got really good friend. we is always together, hang out, shopping, cry , happy together. This Christmas and New year she is not here with me coz she is gone up north with her host family this morning. I have seen her last night and spent time together in town, talked, laughed and ate together. she will come back in 2 1/2 weeks. you will feel good if you got a really good friend who always listen and be with you when you down. I love you naam!!! I miss and love my friends in Chiang Mai lots also.

My Swedish now is abit better the before i can speak and answer short conversation and my listening is much better then my speaking..i like to speak Swedish with old peoples! most of them sooo kind..Well this post i will stop from now and i will come back again after Christmas and before New year..i got some pictures to show you guy, have fun. Hej då. puss&kram!!

I Am Who Am I...

My name is Jeab Angkhana, I am Thai. I live in Sweden from now. I love and appreciate myself just as I am. I love my families who always trust in me. My life is blossoming in total perfection. It's okay for me to have fun and enjoy myself, and I do. All things are now working together for good in my life.....

I am strong and healthy
I rest when I am tired
I love to cook and always cook for peoples who i care
I am healing old wounds
I love and care for my body
I exercise regularly
I am getting better every day
I say "no" when I want to
I can ask for help when I need it
I am caring person
I am patient
I handle conflict and tension with confidence
I seek out people who love and nurture me
I learn from my mistakes
I put my worries in perspective
I am worthwhile
I am a friend to MY self
I choose what I want and go after it
I am open-minded
I keep a positive attitude
I live in the present moment
I encourage myself
I look for solutions
I am centered and balanced
I can change
I am creative
I forgive myself
I let go of resentment
I value myself
I nurture my spirit
I express my feelings respectfully
I love myself
I am gentle with myself
I choose that which I enjoy
I accept responsibility for my life
I cope with stress well
I take action when something is important to me
I accomplish my goals
I am pretty
The end

Be thankful for what you have!

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it! Enjoy your day with a heart of gratitude. Hello friends, loved ones, and whoever else may be reading this. I really like all the sentences above, its help my feeling to keep thinking positive while i am here in Sweden. I have been in Sweden for tree months. I love this country so much, and it is truely like my home. I have less than eight months left here, and I am planning on making the best of them. My main focus is going to be on Swedish now, it has been a challenge with the Swedish so far, and everytime I have everyone switch to just Swedish with me, it seems to drift away after awhile. I never imagined learning Swedish language could be this big of a challenge, and get this hard. I am still trying to let loose, and speak Swedish no matter how bad I sound, but that is much harder than it sounds.
I am not really changed so much since I've been here so far, and I can't really describe how.Ohh my skin its lighter i feel like is not me! hahaha i love to be dark as i always. I learn something about myself everyday, and I see myself over coming challenges I didn't think I could. This has been an amazing experience so far, and I am extremely lucky to have gotten this opportunity. I learn manything about Swedish peoples, listen to them talking on the phone even i don't understand. learning what they think, their personality, what they like or dislike. sometime its abit hard to understand them completely, not easy to guess. Anyway i gain something from them.

I am not meet new people here much maybe only a few but hanging with only one but not often. Peoples here they're look nice but they're just not really like to smile. No idea why, i try to smile to peoples around me but seem like they're thinking i am crazy but i still keep smiling look like i am happy all the time. Its make peoples around me wonder what am i up to...sometime they're smile follow me its great. hehe

Some people will like you for no reason, Some people will not like you for no reason. who you choose to spend the most time, thought, and effort on, depend on exactly how much you like yourself. By just saying near to people who treat poorly, you are telling them it's OK to do so. Only keep people close to you who treat you well.

Good things when i live here, here no ant, Mosquito, not too much insect. I feel so much better cause i am not getting dots on my legs! no dog or cat around everywhere, no Squirrel run around the tree, here don't have peoples sweep the road, here they're using the blower. here no UV light haha but i need them.
Something i miss, the roosters bowl every morning, gecko voice ,dog bark, car horn, specially foods mostly Chiang Mai local foods. very easy to cook or buy normal Thai food here but not local food! i miss to speak north language, I miss you sun! hehe.. well i miss manything in Thailand but its doesn't made me sad cause here always have lots of thing to replaces.

Now is getting colder, leaf is all gone from the tree but some still left. i see fog every morning or maybe all day long, No snow yet. many people said this year is warmer. that's good thing right?

This year i will missed Loy kratong festival in Chaing Mai, I will missed to play firework, i will missed to make kratong ahhhhhhh.....Missed to decorating forest gate, missed the smell of candles, flowers, firework and noodles around! well i will do something to celebrate Loy kratong here in Sweden anyway. i will Float kratong in the lake near my house in this Friday evening! Full moon...maybe still. Watch me....will show you pictures later haha... Happy Loy Kratong Day..สุขสันต์วันลอยกระทง

Slut för idag! (That's all for today) Jag förstår inte så mycket Svenska ännu, men jag tränar min Svenska hela tiden. (I don't understand that much Swedish just yet but i practice my Swedish all the time. Hej då. puss&kram!!

My Kratong from last year!

I am not the best, but I'm trying my best !

So, its time to start writing again! Just sit on the table upstairs where i usually use for learning and updating. Now it's quiet late but i still feel awake. Today just went to work as a part time job at Thai massage place where is a bit faraway from where i live. Today we got 200 Kr. well its not that bad.

The sun. That is all people ever talk about here, if the sun in shining, everyone will go out and be in the sun, even if it's freaking cold as heck. I can honestly say that Swedes are obsessed with the sun. That's not even an exaggeration. Now its getting dark so quickly around 5 pm in the evening and the time was changed this morning that is mean here is 6 hours behind from Thailand. Day time will getting shorter until the sun will set at 3 pm. It will be super crazy watching the sunset in the middle of the afternoon! Now everywhere is kinda like gold and yellow there look very pretty and romantic..I love Fall!! Autumn in my heart LOL..

Actually now its not too cold yet i am still feel ok. I think this week the school will have the fall break for a week because 2 of the kids they are not going to school but i didn't feel any different coz i still work as the same thing everyday. The past weekend Me and my friends was made farewell dinner for our cute friend who will leave to go back home in this Wednesday, we cook Kow man Kai. you can see on the picture below, very simple and easy to made this dish.

Kow man Kai By Jeab

I don't know if i mentioned about this before, but i have been really tired and get homesick alot lately but i still love to being here in Sweden. I didn't feel too bad but i am just too tired and was not eat enough. last Friday i was took two kids to Halloween party and i was made big mistakes to eat Cinnamon. I'm not realize or can smell its was that apply pumpkin dipping sauce was mix with cinnamon until i was going to ask the lady who made it coz it was yummy and i want to know the recipes how to make it. But i got a bad luck. I came back home quickly to take my allergic pill but its was abit late. I got chock and hard to breath. in one hour i drank 6 bottles of water and try to get rid of it out of my body. It's was really helpful, after i feel better with breathing my eyes getting swollen and sore but its not that bad i still can go out and met friends next day. From now on i have to have carefully about Cinnamon again and just wish i will not get a bad luck anymore.

I am not really have much thing for update right now not sure why seem like my brain need to rebooting. I promise i will update again pretty soon after i get rid of numb feeling away. I knew before i came to live in Sweden that everyday here will not be happy and wonderful for me. As you know I am not the best, but I'm trying my best ! anything changing but I am Jeab who will never change! God natt, Hej då

Puss & Kram

Autumn

Jag partar litte Svenska.

So how to start? I am sitting at my laptop table and just finished study Swedish language and also eating my Lunch.

I have just been informed that you need to update this so here its goes.Today i was laughed at for telling my friend to go ask a boy out, i am completely don't know about the Swedish dating "way" when i said that. here you don't just go ask someone out, you become really good friends, hang out, then basically agree to be in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you have to spend every freaking second together. It is much more casual then in Thailand personally i think it is better here. I don't know lol.. Aside from that, I feel like my Swedish is not really improving, I can hold only very basic conversations in Swedish, just very simple conversations, and sometime i though i understand what the peoples saying to me by guessing without realizing it then i am really completely wrong! How come Swedish language is so hard!

I will have been in this beautiful city for two months. It's still completely unreal. I love Stockholm more that I could ever imagine, and I feel that is my second home. I have never been surrounded by such true beauty before, and having only eight months left here just simply won't be enough time. Everything seems to be falling into place, My host family, couldn't be more fantastic, I care about them so much, and can't even bear the fact that I have only eight more months to be with them. I'm sure your thinking, that eight months is a long time, which sure, it is but it's not long enough. I do miss home very much though, and I miss my cat, dog and family and friends, but it's not that hard anymore. Of course whenever I call my Mom every second day I make sure I know my cat, dog they're still alive and fat.

As i said on the last blog about here is very secure and now its still secure some how but maybe its all about me. Last Sunday i have been travel alone to the south part of Stockholm . The city is call Flen. Its quiet faraway from the town about 2.30 hours its made me feel so tired and its really nothing there. Just quiet city and not busy like in town. I leaved town around 9 am not too early but its Sunday not many peoples at all on the Subway. Everyone normally want to sit separate coz the train was empty and i also like to have my own space to sit alone. On the train its just have only 3 peoples there included me. Got a man sit behind me and here peoples always listen to the songs or something. well its just begin! next station we got a new man came to our train.. i feel like yeah.. we got more peoples but i wasn't good at all he came to sit in front of me and i was wonder why here got lots of empty chair so everything seem ok until he start look at my face and took Zip pants down, i didn't look straight away to that but i still can see through the window! "BinGo" Its happened with again, Oh Mannnnn....

I was start scare and shaking, he still young like 35 year old or abit more and big man. Who know if i scream or said something to make him lose his confident he might hurt me. I never think something like this will happen to me here in Sweden. Amazing ehh?? well i just enjoyed that show for awhile (kidding) then i realized that i have to leave, the train stop next station i was stand quickly and ran to sit with a man behide me. He look at me like what is going on you or he might think like i was think about that man before why i didn't go sit other place! i tried to tell him by eyes contact coz i don't want to talk and he still don't understand until train stop next station and the crazy guy was leave the train. I feel so terrible to continue travel alone but i was still keep going. I just want to tell all crazy men that i am not a porn star please stop using me by look at me and done in something stupid in the public place!

I don't judge others, but who am I kidding? Everyone is constantly judging someone else, whether they are judging people on what they are wearing, or who they hang out with. Every time I make a judgement on someone I don't know, I instantly feel regretful for thinking something about someone that I know nothing about. I feel this is something really important that I've really become aware of so far. Everyday i do think positive as much as i can i don't need to try but its become Automatically think like that. i didn't mean like i never think negative but its no point to thinking bad then why we need to think negative right?!

Now its getting cold everyday and sometime i was freezing and shaking to stand and wait for friends outside, i never know that if i getting too cold i will start dizzy! it is happen with me recently. my mouth,legs,hands, are numb. I don't want to Imagine about next month coming! Just hope i will survive..

I think i will go for now, And above here that is some of the events that happened lately. Thanks for spending your time to read this blog. Bless you.. hej då. Puss* puss*

Refreshing everyday in here

So, next Monday, I will have been here for 2 months! It's super crazy! It definitely hasn't felt like that long at all! I feel like I can say I have been really busy but that wouldn't be the exact truth. I didn't start learning Swedish Language until last Monday, so basically being lazy, watching American tv and using Facebook during my free time in the days. I have started figuring out my way around more, and seeing a lot of cool things.

Swedish food- truthfully not as bad as I was expecting. I do try everything even those food is weird for me! So as I am sitting here on my bed watching the My dad says, I am beginning to realize how much has changed in my life, and how different the way I think and perceive things is to how I did almost two months ago. I knew this experience would change a lot about who I am, but I didn't think I would start seeing that so soon. Everyday I learn something, whether it's about the culture, my host family, a new word in Swedish, or just something about myself. I've been able to discover in the last 7 and ½ weeks how strong of a person I really am becoming. Yes this experience so far has been extremely difficult at times, more difficult than I ever could have expected, but this is something I know I will never regret, and years from now when I think about my experience here I won't remember how hard it could get, I'll remember everything I learned, and the people I met. Every day I've been here I've had a moment somewhere through out my day, where I stop whatever I'm doing, and start smiling because I still can't believe I am here!

I've been here long enough to not think here is seems strange and out of place to me at first appear as everyday things that I don't think about twice anymore. For instance, the two buttons to flush the toilets, no water Hose for clean after finish toilet ( not sure what you call), mail coming on Sundays, Postman not riding motorbike, drive another side of the road, eating everything with a knife and fork, Not many kind of milk, yogurt, soft drink( i love green Fanta), no Dunkin Donuts or Swensen even Buffet! and taking the Metro almost everyday. I get asked a lot if I miss home and my friends and family. The automatic answer is yes, however I know they everything will be there when I get back. It's hard to think that I only have until next June 14th to learn and do so many things here. My life continues to be a refreshing everyday in here. I am being love Sweden as my home town, I feel like and also seem like grow up in soul being more mature by keep seeing new thing, faces, places, foods and learning new culture.

So about Sweden, it is the most beautiful country ever. The leaves are falling and it starting to get cold, and I think I am almost ready for my first snow. Everyone is so kind and nice here, especially at Home, I am starting to feel like I am starting to fit in, and but i never get asked less if I am the girl from Thailand ( I am the only an Aupair thai in Sweden). I don't feel like I am out of place anymore, and I feel a since of belonging.

Tree things i love about Sweden
1.The language. Yes Swedish is very hard, even the Swedes think so, but I like the challenge and that makes me try even harder to learn it.
2.The secure life in everywhere i go. I love metro to take me into town.
3.The big lake beside my house. its a wonderful place that i love to look everytime when i think about my family, friends and everything in Thailand.

Tree things i love about my host family
1. Carrying love and who want me to part of their family. Honestly how many people would just take in someone they don't know, and teach them everything about their life and their culture and be willing to share that and let someone live with them for a year? My host family.
2.My host mom she love to run and drink coffee, working hard on the phone, computer and always forget to eat, my host dad also love to run,go work early and back home late, he will smiling as much as he can and also get scary voice sometime. The oldest girl she is so nice and always love to dance and sing. The oldest boy he is a person who caring other kind and help anytime you asking for. The youngest girl who is so cute and love to say you are so pretty and wonderful everytime when you see her.The youngest boy who don't like to be alone and who love star wars. this is my Family!
3. How understanding they are. I make mistakes, I don't always know what to do, and I'm not always the most open person. But they are willing to help me no matter what, and understand.

Recently I start to visited the foster kid, i went to Finland last Saturday with friends and i got a chance to see Daranee who got adopted about 2 years ago and when she left from the house we don't even have a chance to say good bye to her. Its was wonderful to see her again and know that she is the one that still remember some about us and the way she act its was Amazing and i didn't expect she will be the same but she is the same. The smile and big hug from her it answer all my question what i want to know. I have about half and hour to walk around Helsinki alone after spent my time with the girl, I didn't spend time to walk around with other friends there but i hope i will have a chance to travel with them again soon.So its good beginning and i look forward to see next kids.

I finally think I'm going to go to bed. This is a never ending blog, I swear! There will be more in a couple of weeks, I promise. Jag mor trott, Jag vill gå att sova. ( I am very tired, I will go to sleep)
God natt!

Daranee & me

In Finland

A few minute in Helsinki

My Journey in the Land of Sweden!

I can say that I definitely ate many-a chocolate waffle here,after that walked, ran, walked! I found people to be so friendly around where i live and everywhere i go.

Free Sex! what about it? If Thai peoples read this we all think negative but i know most peoples who read my blog understand what i mean. here is really interesting country. No worry that you are a Woman got alots of tattoo, wired hairs style, You can get any job here what ever who you are, I saw a young girl control the Metro, Solder girls, Punk cashier, a teacher who got lots of tattoo. Amazing Sweden.

I live here already a month i keep seeing think different and interesting everyday,so much thing happening maybe its just a month past! haha Now i just want to write positive thing happened but negative thing still happen. Don't worry be happy.... Its getting cooler everyday an Apples keep falling down don't know why peoples here they not pick an apples maybe seem like we have mango all around. My host she went to pick an apples somewhere last weekend now we have 3 bags full of apples. my family here is really sweet and nice to me and my friends, i feel like i am home now!Today got a little gift from host mom she is really sweet person. just want to tell you guys now i am happy!

I am often to go into town to meet friends and do some shopping, specially food! i really love to cook and alway happy when whoever eat are happy and yummy with my food! i always spend my weekend with friends and we are cooking together ( Thai foods) sometime we do some travel around. glad thats i got nice Thai friends here. Bless me

Koaw Soi

Spring roll

My journey to visit foster kids will be start very soon, i feel really excited about it. my first place is going to Finland and i really wish and hope to meet Daranee, When she was adopted i don't have a chance to say goodbye to her because i was teaching at school and she didn't come back to spend the last night at the kids house as i though. Are you exciting? I will update quickly after i see her if i get a big chance!

Thanks God for today now i understood, i can answer "WHY" questions about the thing happen with me last year, i understood why i can't go to live in Denmark because of you, you gave a wonderful days for me here in Sweden as i am reminded of these and i start realize and understanding.Thank you.

I am here but i still be the same girl as you know, i am still do wrong thing even i try not do it, still think something stupid and crazy, still make mistake, still keep being smart the same haha. I grow, I make mistakes and i try again, I grow from my mistakes! Bless y'all ! Love you puss* puss* ( Kiss & Hug)

This Photo is really funny.